Establishing Structure – Honesty

Why do we feel the need to be dishonest? Personally, I think because we fear the negative outcome; but why does it have to be a negative outcome when the outcome could be positive. As humans, it’s in our nature to automatically jump to conclusions.

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When I think of building a relationship, in the form of a house. I focus on SIX key points: Trust, Respect, Loyalty, Honesty, Integrity and GOALS! Of course, a few smaller things are at focus however, these six are the most important. I believe without these major key points your relationship will not hold for very long. Previously, we talked about respect, and how respect for the other persons thoughts and feelings is very important.  Now, we are elaborating a little more on structure. Honesty is a part of the structure that is needed to have successful relationship.

Honesty, yes can be basically “don’t lie, or don’t keep secrets.” However, it goes deeper and further than that. When we talk about honesty in a relationship yes, the basics need to be covered. For example, are you truly expressing your feelings about a certain situation. Then we face doubt; Is your partner being honest about his or her feelings? In a relationship, we all must admit. We enjoy the “honey moon” phase however, once the phase is over and things start to get real. Stop, and ask yourself are you and your partner being completely honest about how you feel? Eventually you will discover that the answer is no. oneself and your partner are NOT always happy about a certain outcome. So, how do you fix this? Keep reading and hopefully I will be able present this answer to you.

Honesty, is a very important piece to a successful relationship. Have you ever had a moment, the argument was deep and tensions are high? So, you decided to end the conversation with an outburst “OK!” Just so the altercation can cease? Don’t say no, because we have all had those moments. In reality, you or your partner don’t understand where the other person is coming from, or you think “maybe he or she only said that, yet they really don’t understand me or how I feel.” Well, I think I have two ways we can approach this and get a better outcome with an understanding that is honest and not misleading this way both parties can win.

Clear Your Mind

When you are having a disagreement, and you’re up to plead your case. Do you ever just stop and gather your thoughts then pitch your complaint? I am pretty sure the answer is no. Sometimes, we forget to breath and to think about our thoughts. We often respond in anger, that anger begins to cloud or though process. Then, once we begin to talk the words become so jumbled, the other party is unable to fully understand. Now, once you get your thought cleared we can move on to you expressing your true feelings.

Don’t Hold Back

            In an argument, we don’t really tell how we feel. We find ways to “sugarcoat” our true feelings. Majority of us will try to keep it very short; you can’t do that, you have to go in depth of how you feel. How do expect your partner to take you serious if you are trying to keep the conversation rated PG? Now, when discussing how you feel. There is a way to go about doing things. Still be respectful of your partner and his or her feelings however, your feelings are priority when you being to explain your concerns. If you don’t like the way your partner acts around certain people. Then, you should address the situation. Also, there is a time and place for an argument, that’s just a side note. Never be afraid to tell how you feel, it is unhealthy to bottle up so much. Trust me, I know from personal experience.

This post sort of went left field, but it’s okay I tend to write about one thing then I turn to something else. So, ask yourself. Does your partner know how you really feel about something, or are you just sugarcoating how you feel?

Looking forward to bringing you more relationship building tips and tools. As always everyone is AMAZING!

*Disclaimer: I am not a professional relationship therapist or psychologist. However, I have experienced a lot in life, and I do feel my views will help someone in some way as they have helped me. Please be advised these views are from my own opinion and life experiences. *

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