Question Question Read All About It!!
Can you have a friendship with your ex, is it healthy, should you even consider staying friends?
Great question! I am going to basically give you my input based off of my past experience.
Honestly, a friendship can be formed with your ex ONLY IF two things are present.
Friends Before Lovers:
The reason I say friends before lovers; because if you built a friendship before you every formed a relationship. You have that foundation to fall back on. In my personal life, my ex and I knew each other for year. Then, we formed a relationship, after 5 years life decided to take action and we split. Granted, after the break up it was rough, but over time it got easier. One reason why it was is, is because our families had grown to love each other. Instead of us getting back together they pushed us to be friends because that was our foundation. In fact, they all agreed a relationship with each other was not for us, but a friendship would be our best bet.
So, I am currently in my new relationship, from the jump I told him about my ex, I told him about our history. I feel why lie when you can nip it in the bud early. Crazy thing happened, my current partner was accepting of it. He said, “Yall have history yes, but I know my position, plus he is in a relationship and I have you; so I don’t see the issue.” In that moment, I knew I found a good one.
The friendship we have is looked at, as if we are parents and our families are the children. We have joint custody LOL… I guess that is a way you could look at it.
Sex is NOT Included:
This is something that people clearly says will happen if you are to become friends with you ex. Well, I honestly can say this is not true. I knew once we broke it off the sexual urge for the other would go away. Honestly, it did in fact, I made sure all my relationship and sexual feelings had detireated before I moved on. We even talked, that this friendship WILL NOT include sex.
We wanted to make sure that our friendship was back to the way before we even built the relationship. Others have scuffed at the idea, but the way we are set up we are with our new partners, we have no reason to pursue each other.
In conclusion, it is possible to obtain a friendship after. I feel comfortable informing you all of my opinion. If you are the partner and you have a problem with it, you should reconsider being more secure in your relationship and trust your partner. NOW, if you have had multiple issues from the past… well you do the math… lol. No, but seriously Friendships are able to be formed and are able to be kept at just friends. Both parties must be on the same page.
As far as it being healthy, honestly that is how based on you. For example, my ex and I hardly communicate unless its family related. Other than that we really don’t speak, its not the normal let me check on my best friend deal that’s suspect.
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Hope this helps! As always, everyone is AWESOME!